Red button on the President’s desk…Let’s just hope the OTHER red button isn’t anywhere nearby…”Oops…I meant to order a Coke”.

http://bit.ly/2qfVoYP

Oh Trumpy. So easily surprised. So unprepared.

Can’t wait to see what provokes you to say “this Commander-In-Chiefing is a lot harder than it looks”.
It’s coming. Sooner or later, the generals will MAKE you do your job. There are certain orders you cannot delegate. You know that, right?
#Impeach45

http://bit.ly/2qfGOk5

Have things changed so much since I graduated that this is news? Because it doesn’t feel like news. College students smoke weed. Thanks for the unique observation, Captain Obvious. #not420news

http://bit.ly/2oBQaJM

“It’s a good thing this was just an exercise, and it is never ever possible for this to happen in real life.”

http://bit.ly/2qbXYis

Making Birthday tweets great again, like America was back when there were only 39 States. Which was never.

http://on.mash.to/2p7PRFt

Got a minute to fuck with the President? Call the anti-alien hotline and report those UFO sightings. Do it now! The Truth is out there.
#aliens

http://bit.ly/2oAviCM