Right? How do I get to be a #CannabisCritic?
Obviously, this is THE stoner dream job, which must be performed ONLY by the ultimate stoners. But, I think I can handle this one. I mean, I am far better qualified than almost EVERYONE in the #Trump administration is for their jobs. Hell, by Trumpian standards, I’m so, extremely OVER-qualified, since #NoRelevantPriorExperience is the Oval Office rule of thumb. #News420 #MarijuanaCritic

http://bit.ly/2vQ2Pcm

Toilet paper simply sucks once you’ve used a bidet. I’m no longer lucky enough to have one, but my ass remembers. Just saying.

http://bzfd.it/2vLgXWd

I guess we’re doomed to a future of split ends and dandruff, if Kim-Jong Un-Reasonable decides we need a nuking.

That’s right. Conditioner can bind radioactive material to your hair, making your fro one big fluffy bundle of doom. So, let’s hope somebody talks some sense into Agent Orange before the silos start emptying, because I’m not ready for a life of frizz and flakes.

http://bit.ly/2w673iK

How cool is that! No more waking up the kids to stick the thermometer up their ass!

Wait. What do you mean “under the tongue”? “Under the arm”? “Behind the ear”? Are you kidding me? #WhoKnew?

Just kidding. I mean, does anybody actually do rectal? These are STILL really cool even if you DON’T probe their little butts for thermal discrepancies.

http://bit.ly/2vMQcie

#News420 Sure. Doing everything possible to protect the #Catch22 that keeps cannabis illegal at the federal level. It’s illegal because it has no medical use and is dangerous. Because it’s illegal, you cannot do any research to prove medical value or relative safety. Of course, any research done illegally doesn’t count, so preventing approved LEGAL research prevents #legalization…and it doesn’t matter how many illegal studies are done in states which have legalized.
#JeffSessions is a dinosaur, out of step with the Nation and even most of his own party. But he is a skilled obstructionist…he’s been a #GOP Senator thru the #Obama administration, some of the least productive, obstructionist Congresses we’ve ever had. It’s like he doesn’t know how to do anything else.
What a fucking asshat.

http://wapo.st/2wPJ451

#News420 Turns out, that when you start up a whole new industry, things like construction expands, real estate booms, and the whole service industry is fueled, making everyone…and the government…lots of money. Can you say #EconomicTurnaround?

http://dpo.st/2wNevNe

Turns out you might be prescribed pharmaceutical #psilocybin in the future…because science says tripping on shrooms seems to help relieve stress and pain and anxiety and addiction and…well, the list keeps growing.
Maybe it’s time we learn how to unlock that part of our brain that they desperately don’t want you to know exists. Maybe it’s time we learn that nothing can replace a sense of well-being, when it comes to our health and happiness. Some substances exist that can help you create, foster and maintain that positive sense of self, so that it cannot be broken by an angry, selfish world. #Shamans around the world use #MedicinalPlants to evoke #hallucinogenic experiences for the purpose of healing and spiritual awareness and wellness. Perhaps it’s time we break out of unconstitutional “Prohibition” laws based upon #ReligiousTaboo and #racism, and learn to freely embrace the search for true self awareness and spiritual, as well as social evolution as a race.
Sitting here on the brink of a possible #WWIII, I think maybe we need to look into a wee bit of #SocialEvolution. I mean, the only ones winning in all of the wars around the planet are #Raytheon, #LockheedMartin and the likes. And of course their ever wealthier shareholders.

http://bit.ly/2x10Q4j